In life every moment we exchange something with someone or some others. We live by exchanging. When nature gives us something we should give something back in return. This is an intelligent way of living. When we go for shopping, we exchange money for the things we want. When at work or job we exchange our time and talent for money. With friends we exchange our love and care for friendship. We have to give something to get something.
This might look like a business transaction, but it is not. In the day to day world we ger what we pay for. When you pay for a liter of milk you will get a liter of milk, not more. When you work at your job for eight hours, you get paid only for eight hours not for forty hours. But in society and family, by giving something sometimes you may get more and sometimes you may even get less.
It is an exchange but when done without expectation you get much more. We have to be intelligent about what to give and what to receive. Most people are hungry for love. They think if they are not in power, no one will follow them. Humans and animals alike want to show their power. A peacock displaying its feathers streched out is also showing its power: the power of beauty to attract. A small ant biting your feet is also showing its power that you cannot trample on it. We want to command love and respect. Pwer hungry people are also very possessive. When power goes away fear comes. But remember - if you want to possess you will lose, by giving freedom you gain more.
There is a story of a holy man and a king. There was a holy man, a beautiful person, very humble and with no possessions. People came to see him and he made himself available and talked to them with love and giving spiritual advice, if they asked for it. His name spread among the town's people and it also reached the king. The king wanted to see him and paid him a visit. He was charmed by his simple living and talk and decided to accept him as his guru.
One day during a conversation the king said to the holy man, "You are so great. You have renounced everything to serve the people and help their spiritual progress. Surely it is a big sacrifice and the power of renunciation is really great". The holy man said to the king, "But what you have renounced or sacrificed your majesty, is much more than what I did." The king did not agree. He said, "I still have a kingdom, my power and the people. It is you who have given up." The monk said, "Sure, I did give up a few comforts, family, house and a few possessions - but for what? What have I gained?" "You have gained so much love, joy, happiness and god realization which are the highest gain", said the king. "But, you king", said the monk, "you have renounced even your love, joy and God in order to be a king and have power. Yours is a greater sacrifice."
What are we sacrificing and what are we gaining? Renounciation done with the right attitude has a very high value.
The sacrifice the mother makes for the child is something unparalled. There was a poor widow who raised baby son with great difficulties, working hard in others houses to feed the child and send him to school. All she had was a small hut with only a single piece of cloth to ware and a small bench to sleep on, which she shared with her child. This child was a brilliant child and with the help of the school teachers he studied really well and left home to pursue higher studies. He achieved one of the highest ranks by being selected for the Indian Administrative Services. The day the son came home to share this news with her, the mother cooked him food and after dinner the son went to bed on the same bench. The bed was a little wet and the son got up complaining that he could not sleep. With the smile the mother said, "do you know how many times I slept on the wet bed when you were a baby, wetting the bed at night. I kept moving the wet part of my saree to my self, providing the dry part of the same saree for you."
If we want to grow, we have to renounce. What should we give up or renounce and to gain what? You have come here for this retreat, giving up the comfort of your home - for what? To be in good company and to grow spiritually. It is important to remember what you have come for. If you give up something for a noble or higher cause, you will be successful in life.
Live intelligently. If we know our ignorance and weak points, we can handle them better but some times knowing their faults, some times people become depressed. There is a story with Greek background. In Greek Mythology, there is a godess named Delphie, who gives judgement. It is said that once people asked her, who is the wisest person and Delphie answered it was Socrates. When they went to Socrates and gave him this news, he said, "It cannot be correct, I am a foolish man." People went back to Delphie with this news. Delphie again said, "What I said is correct, it can never be wrong." The people went to Socrates again. Scorates replied, "If a few years gao, if you had come to me and said I was the wisest man, I would have agreed. But you have come now, when I know how ignorant I am. So I could not agree."
There comes a crossing point in each ones life. You realize your anger, frustration, and judgmental attitude, and feel frustrated. But at such times, do not demean yourself with the cloud of depression. In the Bhagavad Gita, there is a verse which says, na atmanam avasadayet - do not degrade yourself, advises to live like padmapatram ivambhasa - like the lotus leaf untouched by the mud below.
Pray to God sincerely to make you free from all your negatives.
People sacrifies a lot worldly things. You have to know why you are sacrificing. You took up a job. You have to work. You may say you did not choose the family you are born into. But in the cosmic play everything has a cause and an effect. Whether you accept it or not, it was only you, who planned it. Even when you are an adult and chose your own family sometimes you are now happy. Some complain they have no friends. Friends just do not come looking for you. You have to give to get. Accept the situation you are in and act with the right understanding.
When I was very young, I found a book titled "How to cultivate values and iradicate vices". It had an exhaustive list of virtues and vices - major and minor. I was going through those list and checking myself. When a soldier knows the strength and weakness of the enemy, he can fight better. Change will not come over night. We should be content with what we are and slowly try to change our bad qualities.
In deep sleep we are free from thoughts. In meditation we try to be thoughtless, but the thoughts come back again. All negatives and thoughts have been with us for so long like our pets, it is hard to drive them away. You can transform your life. On the day of initiation the teacher said, "give the fruit of all your accumulated negatives and be free." Students are of different categories. Some give up just with one statement from the teacher. Some have given up smoking just by telling once about the bad effects. Some students and remember. Some others have to told three or four times. But some do not want to remember even after repeated reminders.
It is said success has many fathers and failure has none. But through failure you get success. Each human life is a combination of failure and success. Life is also an exchange of something for other. Let us give up some thing for a good cause.