Adveätha sarvabhútanãm
maitrah karuna evaca
nirmamo nirahamkãrah
sama dukhah sukhah käami(Bhagavad Gita 12-13)
“That devotee is dear to me who does not have hatred against any other, is friendly and compassionate, has no ego or attachment, is balanced in happiness and sorrow and has patience.”
Overcoming Hatred
Each human life is conditioned with likes and dislikes. When they become strong, the likes develop into attachment and the dislikes develop into hatred.
Quite often we hear people say, “I hate that person. Even when I hear that name my body trembles.” or “When I think of that incident which happened many years ago and has no existence now, I still feel uneasy and uncomfortable.”
Hatred is a disease that makes our life miserable and because of this hatred we feel uncomfortable in some circumstances in the presence of some people. But we may sometimes have to be in their presence. Pray to god so they will not affect you. Grow strong physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually and be an example for others to be free from hatred.
A common question is “When some one ill-treats me how can I overcome it?”
Usually we give an example. Suppose a baby is moving its hands and accidentally you got a slap on your face. You must have when your children were small. Do you get angry? You will think the baby doesn’t know what it is doing. It is out of ignorance. Similarly when some one commits a mistake offending you think that it is due to their ignorance. That is why Jesus said, “O Lord forgive them for they know not what they do.” You may ask, “If it is out of ignorance you will forget it but what if it is done knowingly?”
Keep your Distance
Why would someone purposely offend you? Look at the snake. The snake is going on its way. Snake is beautiful from a distance but dangerous when close. Is it the mistake of the snake or your closeness to the snake that causes the trouble? You say that some one did something intentionally. It is not that person. It is your own ignorance to let someone hurt you intentionally.
Forgiving
You should eliminate the ignorance from your mind through prayer- “ Let there be more understanding. Let this ignorance not cloud my mind. Let there not be hatred in my mind for any one.” Remember, if there is hatred in your mind for any one it is hatred against God. God is in all. If you cannot see God in all you cannot see God at all. Even a tiger from the distance is the beauty of god. We should develop this kind of attitude. When someone does something wrong close your eyes for a while and think of that person, chant the name of god and say, “O God how beautiful is your play. If some one hates me let me give more love.”
There is a beautiful prayer of St Fancis - a simple prayer.
Where there is hatred let I give love
If you cant that is your own weakness that you are not able get over this hatred in you. Where there is love there is always forgiveness. If you are saturated in love you will forgive. Forgive does not mean you will be meek and let others take advantage of you.
Show the Other Cheek
There is a humorous incident related to Vivekananda. He was in the west in the US, 107 years ago. He was talking to a group of Christian disciples. He asked, “Do you know what Jesus said to do when some one gives a slap on one cheek?” “Show the other cheek,” said one devotee. Then Vivekananda asked, “What will you do if he slaps you again?” The disciple thought for while and said, “ I will show my back.” Then Vivekananda said, “What will you do if he gives you a blow on your back?” The disciple had no answer. Vivekananda said, “I have the answer. For the first slap you show the other cheek –to give an opportunity to let the person know that he is wrong. But if he slaps on the other cheek I would give him I big blow on his back. Not show my back.” Do not let your self be exploited by any one after giving them a chance to realize their mistake.
Rama Krishna’s Advice
Ramakrishna said it in another way. One day a devotee came to Dakshineshwar by boat. When he came in he bowed down to Ramakrishna and said, “Takur, today is not a good day,” Ramakrishna asked why. I had to listen to some people who were speaking ill of you in the boat. I could not bear it and I suffered a lot.” Ramakrishna said, “God gave you two ears to listen but he gave you also two legs to walk away. Why did you not move away to the other end of the boat so you could avoid it?” Some other disciples present listened to these words
Another day another disciple came to Ramakrishna and said, “Takur to day I practiced what you taught.” Ramakrishna said, “ What?” The disciple answered, “I heard some people talking ill of you and I walked away from there” Ramakrishna said, “You foolish man, God have you two hands. Why did you not slap the person?” The disciple was surprised and asked, “But the other day you gave someone the advice to walk away. Ramakrishna said, that advice was for the other disciple who was a raja sic man and this instruction is for you. You are tamasic and should have acted.
Praise and Blame
Remember there is no one who is not blamed or praised simultaneously. Some people will praise you and some will blame you. Krishna was loved by many and also blamed by many. Jesus was loved by many and crucified by others. Mohammed was praise by many but had to run away from some. No one escapes praise and blame. A great incarnation said, my two hands are on two Himalayan peaks, one is the praise and the other is the blame and I take them equally. Some one praises it doesn’t affect me and one blames it doesn’t affect me.
Prayer and Meditation
Prayer and meditation can eliminate hatred or dislike. Prayer and meditation are the panacea for all the diseases of the world. Remember this. I am not talking of physical diseases only. I am talking of our inner illness. If we have dislike for a person let us spend some time thinking of the person and praying for that person. If hatred is still peeping into your heart think of Christ and how he forgave all including those who tortured him. If someone does it out of ignorance forgive hem. If someone is doing it willfully leave tactfully. Stay away. No need to go closer. Spiritual life is a life of understanding. Always bring understanding into life. So you can live purpose fully and peacefully.