Compassionate Detachment

baalastaavat kridaasaktah tarunastvat tarunisaktah
vyddhastaavat cintaasaktah pare brahmani ko pi na saktah
                        Bhaja Govindam
'In boyhood one is absorbed in play, in youth in the charm of the beloved, in old age in worry and anxieties, but there is none who is deeply attached to the supreme Brahman'.

This verse describes objects of attachments in the three stages of life - childhood, youth and old age. The object of attachment changes and this is universal irrespective of where one lives. When a child one is attached to the toys, when young to a beloved and old age is full of worries. When one is young full of vigor, thoughts give rise to emotions desires grow and one tries to find happiness in sense enjoyment and physical pleasure. Old age is usually full of worries about family and children and fear of disease and death and not being taken care. It is interesting to note the shift in attachment. The object of attachment changed from an inert object in childhood to one with life in youth and finally ends with one's own thoughts. Worries are nothing but thoughts.

Why are we attached and how could one change these attachments to give better life? Old age depends on how the childhood and youth are spent. If there had been no spiritual exposure and life was spent in material enjoyments, worries and insecurity will be the result. If there is an element of spirituality even in play it helps inner growth.

A child was playing with the idol of Krishna and developed an attachment to Krishna and was attending to the toy as though it was live. The love grew and as she blossomed into a young girl she found divinity and Lord Krishna became her everything. Saturated with the love of Krishna, Meera later became a great lady saint of India.

Let there be play but let it be god oriented. When we tell children stories do we tell them something spiritual? Do these stories contain some moral and ethical values? Do they contain something of real value that would be useful in life later on? Most of the stories that I tell you are what I heard from my parents in childhood. Even the body we are attached to is not permanent. So how can you justify your attachment to all these things? God is the only permanent thing in this world that we should be attached to.

This verse speaks of human nature. Mind is constantly changing. Mind is not attached to a particular thing or person for a long time. This change happens through inner growth. The real object of attachment should be to the supreme Brahman who is behind this whole play even while playing. But we are only busy with the superficial play and forget the supreme.

Shankara examines life and is surprised that man ignores the very purpose of life and no one really wants to know about the Supreme spirit.

We should live in the world with love but we should be compassionately detached.

'Who is our wife or your husband? We live in a world of relationships. We have established a relationship with the material world, language, country, animals, pets and humans.'

We are born into a family of father, mother, brothers and sisters. Then we established relationship with friends and even enemies. This world is a life of relationships. We created them. Others are not responsible. Relationship is not permanent. It was not there before. It is there now but it will not be forever. One has to leave the others. Relationships have to end in time. Even if you maintain you relationship throughout the life when you leave the world you have to leave it behind. When you live a life of relationships to what degree should you be attached? Is this relationship with proper understanding or out of emotion, attachment and possessiveness? If it is with understanding it helps you to live better. Two things we have to remember - whatever we see in this world it is not permanent. I should accept the changing world and also remember that behind all these changing things there is a changeless one.

Each one comes to the world with one's own past impressions and memories. Do not impose your taste on others. You may expect them to be something but each one grows differently. You can advise but not impose. Accept the reality of life. Shankara says this world is strange. Samsara- the word defines itself sam suyate iti- one that is always changing. This world is strange for one who does not know and is wonderful for one who knows.

Shankara is asking really to whom you belong. You as a soul belong to none.

Kutah aayaatah - From where and why have you come to this world? If we are clear about the source and cause then life is more enjoyable. All waves big or small belong to and merge in the ocean.

Adi shankara says think and contemplate about the source from where you have come and live a life of love. Play your role nicely with prayerful attitude. Ponder over it here and now.